Will I stand

Newsboys Song Stand

What will I do when everything falls….

June 22 2022 at 232 am I found out what I would do

Joshua Blake Hargrove died at 1250am. Age 18 and 2 months plus. I thought he would outlive me, I thought I had a lifetime to make memories. I did not. Because of this I live with grief and regrets as constant companions.

I have a had a full life, If I die tomorrow I have done it all, good and bad.

I could not process life for 10 years. I still worked and operated my body each day. I laughed and lived and got angry and got calm. I was a zombie that looked ok most of the time. in 2010, I started living again some after 8 years of heavy grieving and making my wife miserable.

In 2020, I joined ElektraFi and built a WISP company. Working 3000 hours of overtime in 22 months. Lost myself in the work. My wife during the same time, experienced a resurgent attack from her father emotionally and I failed to support her properly. He died in late 2023, leaving her unresolved on all the father issues. She is better now.

I left ElektraFi Nov 29 2022, being put in timeout by the CEO (his words), the next day I landed a job with L&W, Dec 20 I officially resigned from ElektraFi.

During the two months from Nov 29 to Feb 9 I grew up so to speak. Started loving my wife again. Started living again.

I am a work in progress and hope to stop living regretfully and start closing loops.