John Hargrove Seeking Truth and Reality
Texas engineer finding the signal of grace in grief, code, and Scripture
1984 was the year that I became a father
2002 was the year that my son left this world
the moments in between those two events were precious.
https://biblehub.com/psalms/10-14.htm
4But You have regarded trouble and grief; You see to repay it by Your hand. The victim entrusts himself to You; You are the helper of the fatherless
June 22 230am – Leisa and I learned our lives would change forever. We learned that our son Joshua was dead, killed in a head on automobile accident at 1250am. That was 2002. It was something neither Leisa nor I thought we could survive. Somehow through God’s grace we survived and thrived, it was not easy, it was hard. It was rough. People are great, family, friends, Emmaus, Chrysalis communities gave us love and support.
God provided the means of grace, the love directly from Him, and through other people.
One person was Jarod Eli Barclay. Joshua’s cousin – same age, older by one day….more like a brother than a cousin. about 2 to 3 days after the funeral…Eli gave Leisa and I a gift that never ends. He told us that Joshua could not tell us bye or that he loved us. He wrote and sang a song that spoke to us from Joshua’s perspective, in the song Joshua through Eli – says “I love you mom and I love you dad…”. We can listen to it anytime we want to. He had worked for almost 24 hours on creating the song.
The part of the story that only Leisa knew until Eli played the song for us – for two days Leisa had cried out to God in private pleading prayers – petitioning God to find some way to allow her to hear Joshua say I love you mom one more time. God and the Holy Spirit moved Eli to do this for Leisa and added in extra features to include me and provide it in a recording that both of us can hear anytime we want to.
One of the unexpected things that happened as a result of God using people and the circumstances of Joshua’s death to move people along their journey of faith. Leisa and I continued the Bible study Joshua started in early 2002. We served as youth directors at the FUMC Buna for 3 years. We entered into licensed and then ordained ministry. We work Chrysalis events almost every year even though Joshua never attended a weekend. We give talks at Emmaus and Chrysalis weekends where we each share the story of Joshua and how God walked with us every step of the grief process and continues to this day. Friday night 1/18 Leisa is previewing her Emmaus talk and we listened to part of Eli’s song again. It brings tears and hope…reminder of how much God loves us that He would move Eli to create the song in answer to a prayer.
God’s mercy and grace is indeed great!
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust! For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.” (Psalm 91:1-4)
Joshua’s song from Eli to Leisa and I can be downloaded (mp3) here
Thank you God, for this day and for your rich mercy and love! In Jesus name. Amen.
John Hargrove Seeking Truth and Reality 