The last thirty days have felt like a strange combination of taking things apart and trying to put the right things back together.
Some of it has been very literal.
I have spent hours tracing networks, moving cables, configuring routers, installing Starlink, finding rogue devices, fixing IP conflicts, testing fiber, restoring remote camera access and trying to leave systems cleaner than I found them.
At one church, what started as connecting Starlink turned into finding a second router quietly competing with the main network for control. Once we found it, isolated the problem and rebuilt the path correctly, things began settling down.
There was probably a lesson in there somewhere.
At the same time, Evergreen has been going through its own version of that process.
After years of building rural broadband infrastructure across East Texas, I finally had to accept that parts of the business were no longer sustainable. I had kept trying to make some things work long after the numbers and circumstances were telling me otherwise.
So we have been unwinding.
Customers are moving to fiber, Starlink and other providers. Equipment is coming down. The office is being packed. Radios, routers and tower equipment are being inventoried. Domains, websites, email systems and cloud files are being transferred so nobody wakes up one morning and discovers something important disappeared.
And while one part is closing, another part is becoming clearer.
There is still engineering work.
There is still cybersecurity and critical-infrastructure work.
There are still networks, cameras, phones and systems that need somebody who understands how all the pieces fit together.
There are still rural communities that need people willing to show up.
That has taken me from churches and libraries to housing authorities, small businesses and public infrastructure.
One day I am working through remote access for a camera system in Corrigan.
Another day I am helping plan a better entrance for the Buna Public Library so an older person or somebody with limited mobility does not have to fight a heavy door.
Another day I am talking about digital literacy, economic development, industrial sites or cybersecurity.
Then there are the things that have nothing to do with Ethernet cables.
I have been dealing with some eye problems and learned more than I ever expected to know about meibomian glands, heat treatments and artificial tears.
I have watched people I care about carry health concerns of their own.
I have thought a lot about friendships, responsibility, disappointment and the difference between people you hope will stay beside you and the people who actually do.
And I have spent quite a bit of time looking at myself.
That may have been the hardest project of the month.
I can troubleshoot a network because eventually the packets tell you where the problem is.
Life is not always that cooperative.
I have had to admit that fear influenced some decisions. Pride influenced others. Sometimes I kept working harder because working harder was easier than admitting something was not working.
I have also had to recognize that I can be very close to church, ministry, service and Christian activity while still keeping a safe distance from God Himself.
There is a difference between doing things for Jesus and abiding in Jesus.
That one has been sitting with me.
At 68, I am discovering that rebuilding does not always mean replacing everything that was lost.
Sometimes rebuilding means keeping what was sound.
Removing what was not.
Making things simpler.
Telling the truth sooner.
Doing the next responsible thing.
And trusting God with what I cannot engineer my way through.
Thirty days ago I might have described this season mostly in terms of problems.
Tonight I see something different.
There is still work to do.
There are still bills, boxes, cables, customers, commitments and difficult conversations.
But there is also a clearing taking place.
Some things are ending.
Some things are being repaired.
Some things are becoming smaller.
And maybe some things are becoming more honest.
Jesus said, “Abide in me, and I in you.”
Maybe that is the network connection I need to pay the most attention to.
#Faith #Jesus #LifeAt68 #RuralTexas #Engineering #Technology #Community #Leadership #EconomicDevelopment #RuralBroadband #Cybersecurity #Service #NewBeginnings
